Magic

Do you have magic?  I don't, but I want some.  Apparently there is this thing called "Mother's Magic".  Well, I AM a mother.............   Where is my magic.  Who left that key ingredient out of me when I was made?  Or, does it happen when a woman first becomes a mother? A woman gives birth, and as a reward for doing one of the hardest things of her life, she gets magic.  It sounds about right.  I believe we women deserve it, but well, I'm pretty ticked.  I did all of the hard work, 3 TIMES, and no magic.
I've lived 11 years of being a mom without thinking much about it, and then a couple of months ago I was walking down the street when a new family (mom, dad, new baby) were walking the same way as me.  We were stopped at a stop light when new baby started to cry in the stroller.  The new dad picked up baby and, for about 1 second, tried to comfort baby before saying something about "Mother's Magic" and passing the baby to mom.  My first I thought was, "I'm SO glad I'm out of the baby stage" but my second thought was, "Magic?????".  Fancy this, after the light turned green and we all started walking again the baby stopped crying as the mom bounced and cooed at the baby.  Apparently from the look on the dads face she did have magic.
Ok, I'm not oblivious.  I realize this saying has been around for awhile.  I just don't know if I would go as far as saying moms have magic.  I wish we did, but the fact is we don't.  I do believe men and women are innately different.  We have different qualities that complement each other.  Women have been perceived through out forever as being the nurturer.  Maybe that is our "magic", but do you know what I think?  I don't believe it.  I believe men can be just as nurturing.  I think men invented "mother's magic" so that they could pass the baby off to the one with the magic.  And then what's a woman to do?  Admit to the man that she in-fact doesn't have magic?  I say YES!  It is humbling, but we really don't have it, and we need help.
My first wonderful daughter had colic for 6 months.  I mean horrible, there was nothing I could do, screaming baby colic.  She was born in the summer in Washington State where there are no air conditioners, so my home windows were open to try to cool off.  I would have neighbors come knock on my door asking if they could try rocking her.  See, I had no magic.  Don't worry, they didn't have any magic either.  They just had pity for me after they tried to calm her and couldn't succeed.  To top it off, I had postpartum depression.  This came as quite a shock as I had never felt the affects of depression in my life until that point.  Honestly, the only magic in our home during that time was my husband.  He helped lead both me and my daughter out of that hard time in our lives.  This brings me to my point, did my husband even have magic?  No, he had love and strength, and patience, and I am forever grateful to him because of this.  Mothers are amazing and wonderful, but fathers are just as awesome!
 I love being a mom!  My children are the best parts of me.  I would do it all over again to have these wonderful people in my life, but again, I don't have magic.  I do have a lot of love, and I am stronger than I have ever been, and I learn patience everyday.  Maybe some would call this magic, but I think it's called hard work with a lot of unconditional love.  If you want to call it "Mother's Magic", then there has to be "Father's Magic" as well.  Mother's and Father's are in this parenting thing together, so please don't pass the baby to the mom and say she has the magic, 'cause fathers do too!
Also, if there actually is a mom out there that thinks she does have magic........  I'm Jealous.
Man, what would I do with Mother's Magic?  Make sure they have clean rooms, have them never fight with each other, get them to eat only healthy things, read more, play video games less, go outside to play, do homework right away,  stay in their own beds at nighttime, do their chores, good manners...... the list goes on and on, and all of this with no nagging.   Ah Magic......  I wish.

"Normal"

We were on a vacation recently, and our hotel had the usual complimentary shampoo and conditioner.  Anyone that has walked down the shampoo isle at a grocery store knows that there are many different types of shampoo claiming to do many different types of things.  I am pro-shampoo and all that it claims it can do.  Some shampoos claim it will help moisturize, some add volume, some help dandruff, and the list goes on and on.  My typical shampoo at home has a ton of moisture in it because I kill my hair every other month by having my hair dresser bleach it as blond as no natural head of hair could ever be, but I like it that color, so I have to moisture the heck out of it in-between appointments so it won't break off and fall out.  In fact just writing about it makes me stressed out.  I feel like I need to run and put some deep conditioner on my hair right now.  I believe in using shampoo and conditioner that are right for your type of hair.
I also like to try to save room when I'm traveling with my three kids because I don't love to carry around a million suitcases, so I usually don't bring my big bottles of shampoo and conditioner on vacation.  I figure that, hopefully, my hair can survive for a week with hotel shampoo.  So, on this recent vacation as I was in the shower using the hotel shampoo I squinted down and saw that I was using "normalizing" shampoo.  I couldn't get over this, hence the picture I took of the shampoo.  What in the world is normalizing shampoo.  Who is to say what "normal" hair is anyway?  Don't we all have widely different hair in this world?  Oh my goodness, but if we use this shampoo we will all have "normal" hair.  So, I used it on myself and kids for a week, and I didn't notice a difference in any of us.  Maybe we had normal hair to begin with....  ha ha.  I can't believe they have a normalizing shampoo.  It made me want to rebel and not be normal.  I don't even know what that means for hair, but you bet I don't want normal hair just because this shampoo claims I should.    Who wants normal?  That is just boring.  Be yourself, and love the hair you have.  Of course if it's really dry from bleach please do use a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner.  I can't say enough about them!

When I got home I looked online to see if they sell this, and fancy this, Neutrogena doesn't have this on their website anymore.  I guess they gave up trying to normalize the general public's hair... just the people that stay at certain hotels.  Silly stuff.

Just A Mom

In church we have a newsletter for our relief society each month, and each month they do a spotlight on these sisters telling who they are and what they do, where they came from and all sorts of interesting tidbits about themselves.  I really love reading these short bios of the ladies in my church, but I also get a little overwhelmed each month as I learn that another woman is, by far, more interesting than me.  I mean these ladies have done and seen the world, and are educated and have interesting jobs that pay money.  I don't mean to get down on myself at all, or try to compare, but sometimes it's hard when it's right in front of my face.  

My life is simple, and I kind of like it like that, but I sometimes feel like I need to go get a cool job to prove that I am someone and not "just a mom".  Maybe that's it.  Maybe I have a hard time with saying that I am "just a mom".  I know that I shouldn't use the word JUST in that sentence, but other women are moms too, but they also have careers, so it feels like a "just"to me.  Especially since I'm not a perfect mom.  Maybe if I was a super awesome perfect mom I would feel justified in saying I'm just a mom, but I am SO not perfect. I even sometimes wonder what I do all day.  Next year my youngest will be in school full time.  This is sort of new territory for me.  I haven't had a paying job in 11 years, and frankly and don't really want one.  Maybe I would want a part-time one that would coincide perfectly with my kids schedule, but I don't want to leave my full time job of being a homemaker.  Yes there is a lot of drudgery with taking care of the house and kids, but I also love it that I am here for my kids ALL OF THE TIME.  I don't know what life will bring, maybe I will have to get a job later, and if I can find a part-time position somewhere then I would be happy to help pay off the mortgage, but really I like staying home and making it run a bit smoother.  I'm tired of feeling like I'm not doing enough because everyone else has a job and is a mother.  I think there was a time long long ago when being "just a mom" was ok.  What happened?  It is a sacrifice to stay home.  I've sacrificed my "career" to raise these 3 kids.  I wouldn't change any of it, I just wish people would value motherhood fully.
I guess when it's my turn to write a short bio for church the ladies will be bored with my little synopsis, but I really like my life, and I think my kids like are grateful that I'm home too, so I will try to be grateful that I am able to stay home, and strive to make this wonderful crazy home a bit more peaceful and full of joy and love.  

Phineas and Ferb

Apparently we watch this Disney Show too much around here.  If you've ever seen the show you know of the "evil" Dr. Doofenshmirtz who is always inventing a machine to destroy something.  All of his machine names have the ending "inator".  For example, the Changenator-inator, or the Baby-inator, or the Shrink-inator, or the Bake Sale Obliteratinator.  So, the reason I know we watch too much of this, is that my 4 year old was starting to use (inator) after everything.  When I would go running on the treadmill she would ask if I was going to go running on the "run-inator".  And when I would do her hair, she would ask if I was going to use the "curl-inator".

Apparently Dr. D has a big influence around here.  I find myself using these terms now a days too.  Try it.  It kinda makes things sound a bit cooler than they really are!

Video Stores

I miss video stores.  Do you remember Hollywood Video, and Blockbuster?  I even remember when grocery stores had their own little video collection you could browse and rent.  I know Red Box is super convenient, but I miss going to actual brick and mortar video stores and browsing the aisles.  I miss seeing what the employees listed as their favorites.  I actually enjoyed seeing what Joe, and Angie, and all of the other employees recommended as their favorite movies, because sometimes when I walked into the store I didn't know what I wanted to watch, and it was nice to have a recommendation from an actual person..
I know this is a silly thing to miss.  We have more video option at our fingertips then ever before!  With Netflix, Hulu, and all of the other streaming companies I could forever have some movie constantly playing.  Maybe that's the problem.  Maybe there are too many choices out there.  There can be too much of a good thing.  That good thing could even turn into perhaps a bad thing?  My kids as I type are all watching something different, because they can.  Two of them are watching different things on Netflix via our iPads, and one is watching a movie rented from Red-box.  I do put limits on the time they spend doing this, but something about them watching so much, or having so much available bugs me.
I remember the 'good ole days'  when it was a weekend treat to go to the video store and pick out one movie.  Yes, just one lone movie.  Now on the weekend we browse through our instant  queue that has hundreds, even thousands of options, and we can watch these movies back to back if we wanted.
One day in a few decades someone will say, "Hey, we should open an actual store where people can come and look at all of the movies and rent them".  And we will have to let that person know that it was done, and it died.
As I'm typing this I am thinking I probably sound like an old person right now!  I'm not that old, but I do miss those old fashioned video stores!

Happily Ever After = false

Wow, the title of this entry is depressing. Everyone wants to believe in happily ever after, but I'm not convinced it's true.  Maybe I'm just getting cynical in my old age, and my mature marriage of 13 years.  Ha Ha, no I realize I don't actually know anything,  and I may change my mind later, but this is what I was thinking.
I read an article the other day about a handicapped woman who was hailed at being a success story.  Her success was that she had defied odds and had found love and had gotten married.  I of course congratulate her, but somehow the fact of her success hanging on her getting married rubbed me the wrong way.  It was stated as if, now she had made it.  Now, she has what everyone wants, "Happily Ever After". When really it's not.  I mean marriage is great, but it's not clear sailing after you tie the knot. I think life gets more real when you get married.
I love Disney.  I love their movies, I love going to the parks, I love it that my little girl dresses up like the princesses, but I'm beginning to think it's wrong of them to portray the thinking that marriage is a happily ever after.  Maybe this mentality is why so many people get divorced.  Do we all feel entitled to a happily ever after?  And so when things get hard we bail out?  I hope not.
There are a lot of ups and downs in any marriage.  Mine, since that's the only one I really have license to critic, has had it's fair share of bumps.  Three of those bumps have first names and lived inside of me for 9 months.  Some bumps are just your regular run of the mill day to day stuff, and some bumps are just between me and my Mr. Houston.  But we've worked through them and we will continue to work through future ones, and it's not easy. Part of a quote from former Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley says "most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration".
Maybe you can finally say you are in your happily ever after when you are like my grandparents and have been married for over 60 years, but the funny thing is they still get frustrated with each other today.
 Of course we should be happy when someone gets married, but we should also be truthful and let people know it takes a lot of work to make the happily ever last.  In fact there may be days that you arent happy.  But is it worth it?  Oh yes!  You have to work hard to find your moments of happily ever after.  And yes I know.... I am wise beyond my years :)

Oh no....What are you looking at?

We went to Barnes and Noble this morning for story-time.  Will had some leftover birthday money so he bought a book about fantastic facts. He was so excited to go home and read it!  And of course with me having gotten my degree in English (don't judge my grammar, it was more of a literature degree) I'm all about reading and books!  So he settled down on the couch to read, and I sat down in the kitchen to write a desperately needed grocery list.  As I was deeply into writing my list I hear from my 7 year old son,
"oh my gosh, mom you have to see.  This book shows how babies get in the mom's tummy!".
This exclamation from my son  took my breath away and made my heart stop for a minute.  I was NOT ready to have THIS conversation with a 7 year old.  What the heck type of book did I let my son buy?  The book was is the kids section right?  While all of this is running through my head I was running over ready to slam the book shut.....calmly.  As I was headed over to him he goes on to tell me "see mom look how the baby grows". As I looked down at the book I realized it wasn't what I thought.  It was a gestational timeline photo of how the baby grows in the womb.  You know it starts as a peanut looking baby and on and on until it is fully developed.   Will said "look how tiny it is to start with".  I then, breathing normally again, told him that yes he was that tiny once in my tummy.  And he said, "gross, I was touching your guts". Yes, I can have this conversation, just not the other one ...not yet.
Whew I was relieved.  I almost didn't handle that well.
Now off to grocery shop on this wonderful memorial weekend.  Wish me luck!