Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Just A Mom

In church we have a newsletter for our relief society each month, and each month they do a spotlight on these sisters telling who they are and what they do, where they came from and all sorts of interesting tidbits about themselves.  I really love reading these short bios of the ladies in my church, but I also get a little overwhelmed each month as I learn that another woman is, by far, more interesting than me.  I mean these ladies have done and seen the world, and are educated and have interesting jobs that pay money.  I don't mean to get down on myself at all, or try to compare, but sometimes it's hard when it's right in front of my face.  
My life is simple, and I kind of like it like that, but I sometimes feel like I need to go get a cool job to prove that I am someone and not "just a mom".  Maybe that's it.  Maybe I have a hard time with saying that I am "just a mom".  I know that I shouldn't use the word JUST in that sentence, but other women are moms too, but they also have careers, so it feels like a "just"to me.  Especially since I'm not a perfect mom.  Maybe if I was a super awesome perfect mom I would feel justified in saying I'm just a mom, but I am SO not perfect. I even sometimes wonder what I do all day.  Next year my youngest will be in school full time.  This is sort of new territory for me.  I haven't had a paying job in 11 years, and frankly and don't really want one.  Maybe I would want a part-time one that would coincide perfectly with my kids schedule, but I don't want to leave my full time job of being a homemaker.  Yes there is a lot of drudgery with taking care of the house and kids, but I also love it that I am here for my kids ALL OF THE TIME.  I don't know what life will bring, maybe I will have to get a job later, and if I can find a part-time position somewhere then I would be happy to help pay off the mortgage, but really I like staying home and making it run a bit smoother.  I'm tired of feeling like I'm not doing enough because everyone else has a job and is a mother.  I think there was a time long long ago when being "just a mom" was ok.  What happened?  It is a sacrifice to stay home.  I've sacrificed my "career" to raise these 3 kids.  I wouldn't change any of it, I just wish people would value motherhood fully.
I guess when it's my turn to write a short bio for church the ladies will be bored with my little synopsis, but I really like my life, and I think my kids like are grateful that I'm home too, so I will try to be grateful that I am able to stay home, and strive to make this wonderful crazy home a bit more peaceful and full of joy and love.  

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